THE COLUBRIAD.
By William Cowper
HTML formatting by RBB
On August 3, 1782, Cowper described the occasion of his poem, written in the same year, in one of his incomparable letters, this one to The Rev. William Unwin.
It is a sort of paradox, but it is true : we are never more in danger than when we think ourselves most secure, nor in reality more secure than when we seem to be most in danger. Both sides of this apparent contradiction were lately verified in my experience.--Passing from the greenhouse to the barn, I saw three kittens (for we have so many in our retinue) looking with fixed attention at something, which lay on the threshold of a door, coiled up. I took but little notice of them at first ; but a loud hiss engaged me to attend more closely, when behold -a viper! the largest I remember to have seen, rearing itself, darting its forked tongue, and evacuating the aforementioned hiss at the nose of a kitten almost in contact with his lips. I ran into the hall for a hoe with a long handle, with which I intended to assail him, and returning in a few seconds missed him: he was gone, and I feared had escaped me. Still however the kitten sat watching immoveably upon the same spot. I concluded, therefore, that, sliding between the door and the threshold, he had found his way out of the garden into the yard. I went round immediately, and there found him in close conversation with the old cat, whose curiosity being excited by so novel an appearance, inclined her to pat his head repeatedly with her fore foot; with her claws however sheathed, and not in anger; but in the way of philosophical inquiry and examination. To prevent her falling a victim to so laudable an exercise of her talents, I interposed in a moment with the hoe, and performed upon him an act of decapitation, which though not immediately mortal proved so in the end. Had he slid into the passages, where it is dark, or had he, when in the yard, met with no interruption from the cat, and secreted himself in any of the out-houses, it is hardly possible but that some of the family must have been bitten ; he might have been trodden upon without being perceived, and have slipped away before the sufferer could have well distinguished what foe had wounded him. Three years ago we discovered one in the same place,
which the barber slew with a trowel.
CLOSE by the threshold of a door nail'd fast
Three kittens sat ; each kitten look'd aghast
I passing swift and inattentive by,
At the three kittens cast a careless eye,
Not much concern'd to know what they did there,
Not deeming kittens worth a poet's care.
But presently a loud and furious hiss
Caused me to stop and to exclaim "What's this?"
When lo! upon the threshold met my view,
With head erect, and eyes of fiery line,
A viper, long as Count de Grasse's queue.
Forth from his head his forked tongue he throws,
Darting it fall against a kitten's nose,
Who having never seen, in field or house,
The like, sat still and silent as a mouse
Only projecting with attention due,
Her whisker'd face, she ask'd him, "Who are you?"
On to the hall went I with pace not slow,
But swift as lightning, for a long Dutch hoe,
With which well arm'd I hasten'd to the spot
To find the viper,-but I found him not;
And turning up the leaves, and shrubs around,
Found only, that he was not to be found.
But still the kittens, sitting as before,
Sat watchingg close the bottom of the door.
" I hope," said 1, "the villain I would kill
Has slipp'd between the door and the door sill;
And if I make despatch and follow hard,
No doubt but I shall find him in the yard
For long ere now it should have been rehearsed,
'Twas in the garden that I found him first.
Even there I found him, there the full-grown cat
His head, with velvet paw, did gently Pat,
As curious as the kittens erst had been
To learn what this phenomenon might mean,
Fill'd with heroic ardour at the sight,
And fearing every moment he would bite,
And rob our household of our only cat
That was of age to combat with a rat,
With outstretch'd hoe I slew him at the door,
And taught him NEVER TO COME THERE NO MORE.
Back to the Local On-Line Texts Index
Back to the William Cowper Page