Notes

Outline

The Power of Description tools for painting in words

NAMING focus on NOUNS

Example of Naming It was mist upon mist.  The Portuguese Princess plowed out of Provincetown harbor toward Stellwagen Bank where the humpbacks had been feeding for several months.

Use More Descriptive Words--Verbs They can stretch out their necks like a giraffe, or loom underwater like an apocryphal hippo.  They browse on lettuce thrown on the water like a cow moose which is partly submerged. stretch  vs  move loom  vs  appear browse  vs  chew

Use More Descriptive Words--Adjectives (modify nouns) ...they keep plugging, rolling like sailorly souls--a bobbing, infirm gait, a brave, sea-legged momentum--stopping occasionally to study the lay of the land. a gait a bobbing, infirm gait a  momentum a brave, sea-legged momentum

Use More Descriptive Words--Adverbs (modify verbs) He swam purposefully toward the boat. Then under.  More silence.  I crossed quickly to the other side in time to see his huge greenish head explosively break through the surface. swam swam purposefully crossed crossed quickly exploded suddenly exploded

Notice a Pattern-- NOUNS can be named and or modified VERBS can be more descriptive and or modified Think of each one as a door which can be opened with more detail and descriptiveness

Incorporate the Senses Sight Smell Sound Taste Feeling/touch

Example of Incorporating Sensory Description The boat, its engine cut, rolled on four-foot swells.  The smell of oil and gas hung in the air, making my head ache and my throat tighten as I tried to swallow.

Use Comparisons They have a penguin’s alertness, combined with a build like a Brontosaurus when they rise up on tiptoe.  Then they hunch and ponderously lunge like a grizzly going forward. a penguin’s alertness like a Brontosaurus like a grizzly going forward

Your Goal With Description to “paint” the picture more completely to “paint” the picture with more detail to “paint” the picture in a more engaging and creative way

The Essence of Description to SHOW and NOT TELL

Example of Showing He was angry. I noticed George’s body get rigid and his face get a blank tenseness like a flat board.  His hands clenched together involuntarily as his jaw set square.  Had I said something wrong?   I felt as though he was like a spring getting wound tighter and tighter.  “Hey, did I say something wrong?” I asked.  “NO!” he lied, answering loudly and too quickly.  His chair scrapped against the hardwood floor as he rose and stomped off through the door, slamming it with a big bang.